Week #49: NO WAY JOSE!!

Gutbuster! Who you gonna call? ... Jose!

Horrible challenge this week. A small back story - a little over a month ago, I received a phone call from my friend, Mark. He inquired if I had ever tried a competitive eating challenge. My lightening quick answer was no, and lets give this a try! When our spouses asked "Why are you doing this?" The only answer was "Why" is not a question one should ask when participating in a food challenge. All we had to do was coordinate a time and a place. He found the challenge at the restaurant Charro. They have a burrito that weighs in at 5-8 pounds called the "No Way Jose" Burrito. If you consume this beast, it is on the house. My friend Brian decided to join Mark and I on this adventure.

Thankfully, Mark has a competitive eater friend in the Minneapolis area. Advice was passed on to the three of us. There was a 3 day "workout" schedule. Day 1: Eat regularly until dinner. At dinner, gorge yourself until you can't anymore (then continue to eat afterwards). This will stretch out your stomach lining. Day 2: Eat regularly, but drink water from dawn to dusk. This will keep your stomach stretched out to capacity (Mark emailed me "Who could actually think that water can taste bad after awhile?). Also, you will be going to the restroom more times then you have ever gone before. Day 3: (or as I call it: Game Day) Eat a breakfast bar in the morning and nothing else. Then, proceed to work out harder than you usually do (if you don't exercise, do so on this day). This increases the metabolism and gets the body ready to go. On game day, Brian and I ran between 8-10 miles at the Pettit Olympic Ice Skating Center. Post-run shower, my stomach was growling like crazy. I think I heard it say "Let's get it on! 6 pound burritos are nothing!"

Mark, Brian and I discussed our challenge with each other. We quickly figured out it was a battle against Jose, not one another. Mark and I made a side bet with our favorite charity to whomever finished first or who ate the most.

On Wednesday, the clock struck four and sweat beads began to appear on my forehead. We decided to pass on the appetizers. Then, the waiter brought out the 5 to 8 pound (nice discrepancy BTW) burrito for Mark, then me, and finally for Brian. After witnessing this abomination, we knew Jose would defeat us all . Weight-wise, it was like eating a new born baby. We would have to finish this beast in under 1 hour. Basically, you are racing against your stomach. Finish before your belly says, "Hey, Knock it off!" Yet, we were famished and ready for the challenge! The first bite was delicious, the second o.k. then it turned ugly! I could hardly lift the fork ten minutes in. Twenty minutes passed and Mark peered over and spoke "I want to throw up before every bite." truer words could not be spoken. I became hot, sweaty, disorientated, grumpy, sleepy (pretty much all of the Disney Dwarfs, except for Happy.) Finally, my stomach was stretched to the limit. Four plus pounds of burrito later, I threw in the towel, Jose wins :( I did squeak by Mark and managed to raise a little money for my favorite charity http://www.cdhh.org/ (The Center for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing). A few days later, I seem normal again. Of all my adventures this year, this is definitely one that I will NOT do again any time soon!

P.S. Extra special very impressed with that Man vs. Food guy!

www.charrorestaurante.com/brookfield

Pictures above: "No way Jose" Burrito, running 8-9 miles one hour before the event, before and after shots. (Notice the difference in Mark (on the left) from before picture #3 and later-in-the-task picture #7, not as cheery)

Videos: Getting ready to go down! (Special thanks to Jan, my cinematographer)