Week #14: No Meat, No Chicken, No Fish, No Dairy ... Make Goldie Go Crazy!!

Don't let the smiling face (you see above) fool you. I was a full-fledged Vegan this week. I have learned now that vegetarians are WIMPS! I spent the entire week eating like a vegan. This means that you can't eat anything that had a face or a family. I almost messed up my first morning by trying a handful of dry honey nut cheerios (I didn't). I noticed the smiling bee on the cover of the breakfast cereal. I googled Vegan and found out that not only milk but honey was also off limits.

I had lunches of wheat berry salad, Garden Burgers, cashew nuts or a salad with no cheese, eggs, or ranch-like dressing. I learned that Tofurkey is incredibly edible when you add spicy organic salsa (and are extremely hungry). To Vegans, tofu is a miracle food!! With the proper spices and sauces, it can be a meat, pork, or a chicken-like food.

The hardest part was going out to restaurants. I don't know how us vegans do it. Me and my Hackey Sack people have it rough. We are overlooked!! I was supposed to go out with a client for a steak dinner this week and I had to postpone. I checked the menu online and called up the restaurant, but they had no real vegan options for me. On my fifth day, my wife found the only certified green restaurant in the State of Wisconsin.

http://www.cafemanna.com/index.html

It was my vegan paradise! I could be myself without feeling ostracized. Bring on the Falafel with Citrus Tahini and the Baba Ghanouj, but I was warned about the Green Juice. Our waitress read us the "Vegan Miranda Rights" for this drink: I must drink it within thirty minutes, my face may become flush (it did), and I may feel a little woozy after drinking this. It is made of kale, swiss chard, bok choy, cucumber, romaine, ginger, etc. Loaded with vitamins and minerals to help detoxify. It was probably the healthiest drink I have ever had, but it tasted like drinking fresh-cut grass in a blender. You can see the misleading smile on my face above, while drinking this concoction.

This week was a lot more difficult then I thought it would be. Lots of cous cous, tofurkey, garden burgers, oranges, pickles, and water make a man hunger for a HAMBURGER!! 12:01 a.m. this Monday, that is what i am going to do (the alarm is set).